Vagaries of life !!!

Such is life, and thats most I can say .
The unexpected usually surprises and excites, but at times it dampens the spirits too ,
by the virtue of leaving a feeling of lack of appreciation and stability. While there is no doubt that
the uncertainties and unpredictable behavior of people tends to keep the interest going strong,
it if persisting for too long, tends to wear out the patients and starts to tax the need for the mundane in life.

Its some times better to be the source of heart ache then any thing else for others, with time the bitterness would soon dissolve and maybe the indifferent attitude would soon mellow down to a more pleasant acquaintance. This any day would be better then skinning you soul for others and being rewarded with
with a continuous barrage of heart wrenching words or actions. In all fairness , its a self inflicted personal offense, no better then taking abuse hands down , to let it go on.

Cry for yourself, its a mean world out there

As i turned back to go home, the impression of her lips still fresh on mine,
and the warmth of her fragrant hair still persisting in my breath, I felt like crying.
and i did, my eyes remained dry though.
But what was I crying for?? i spent the night introspecting ..
Was i crying because i was soon going to be alone. Was it because I was struggling with
the idea of having to get on with my life, with an integral part missing?Was it because I had invested my emotions into some one to such an extent that now it was impossible living a normal
life without her influence or the lack of it?
Or was it because I was leaving her alone, at a time when she needs me?Was it because she stood there still holding me, as i walked away? Or was it because i also knew that she would soon let me go ... ?
Was I crying for her, who was left behind.. or for her who, I knew would soon move on in life..
Was i crying for myself, who was going away, or for my self , who was left behind..
The answer to all these questions is yes..
And i was crying for the love of love.

Living in parts.

This was in the waiting for a really long long time, in fact it was due ever since things started.
Tomorrow when you wake up, you wont be able to look forward to the day with me, you
would have a hundred thousand things to say and I would have the desire to hear,but your
words would never reach me . An interesting dream from the last night would linger on way
too long inside your head , to keep its charm.You would have questions to ask, concerns to share
and opinions to seek, but I wont be there.The day would soon stand in all its glory, as always,well almost.. .
With the pace of the day kicking in, you would soon be eaten up by the rush of the world.

Every time you would stop to take a breather, you would realise I am not around. Every time you wet
your lips when you are drinking water , you would burn for me. The buzz of the phone or the new mail
alert would break your effort fully held trance and my thoughts would creep in .While you would smile,
just for a moment, your face would become even more somber soon.

There would still be chocolates and that's just about it.A familiar song playing on the radio,
while you are in the cab, would force you to think of me,as if its was just yesterday .While the
night would continue to be as alluring as ever, there would be no one, in front of whom you can
spread your day and crib and rejoice. There will be no one bugging you with late night calls,
and no one to bug.

The gym class, the morning jog and the evening walk would just be the same, and so would be
the ever invading incompleteness.The excitement of getting a new hair cut, a new dress, or a new
lip color would be the same, and so would be the the feeling of being invisible to the world.The
triumph of success success at work, the joy of festivals and the happiness of those special
days would all be the same, and so would be the desire to share it all with some one.
The way you talk to people wont change, nor would the way people perceive you change.
but some where deep with in you things wont be the same.

Your smile would still have the allure, your words would still enchant, your eyes would still have there sparkle,
and your face would still have the fresh innocence, your actions still would be purposeful, and your thoughts clear. your ambitions would still be high and power full, and your heart still mellow n pure.You wouldcontinue to succeed in all that you do and would continue to impress one and all.
You would have every thing but for me ...

You !!

You are my biggest weakness, now I want you to be my biggest strength.
You are my strongest desire, now I want you to be my greatest satisfaction.
You are the biggest thrill of my life, now I want you to be my peace of mind.
You are essential for my survival, now I want you to be my reason for life.
You are my treasured possession, now I want you to own me completely.
You are an excitement, now I want you to be the ever lasting calm in my life.
You are a surprise every day, now I want you to be the constant in my life.
You are a soothing influence, now I want you to head the realms of my life.
You are a mellowing force, now I want you to be the driving force of my life.
You are everything that I not, now I want you to be a permanent part of me.
You are a passion, now I you to be my everlasting obsession .
You are the best for me, now I want to be good enough to deserve you.
You are .. all.
and you are.. mine,
well .. aren't you ?

Absolute bloody perfect !!

There was a time when I wasn't good enough for you..
Now I am "perfect" and deserve some one better.
In all I cant have you either way :(