Crash and Burn

I force my self through the extreme emotions, wondering every time which way will the tide turn? Will the dam of my self imposed control break this time, will my heart shrink and close, would i crash and burn.

Choose for yourself

I can choose to do it or I can choose to not do it. 
Either ways I would still have to do the choosing.

Oil and Water

Passion and Discipline are like oil and water, they do not mix easily.
But when they do the results are amazing.

Everything

Everything shining can not be her eyes

and everything enchanting can not be her gaze.

Everything captivating can not be her face 

and everything sparkling can not be her smile.

Everything absorbing can not be her hair

and everything entangling can not be her curls.

Everything amber can not be her lips

and everything sweet can not be her kiss.

Everything velvet can not be her skin

and everything warm can not be her touch.

Everything comforting can not be her embrace

and everything fragrant can not be her perfume.

Everything enticing can not be her charm

and everything exciting can not be her lures.

Everything true can not be her word
and everything honest can not be her emotions.

Everything compelling can not be her thoughts
and everything fulfilling can not be her presence

Everything meaningful can not be her trust
and everything achievable can not be her intimacy

Everything can not be her
and everything can never be her.

Dark Side

There is the pain of being let down
and the pain of expecting so much.

There is the fear of disinterest
and there is the fear dependence.

There is the agony of having to forgive
and there is the agony of forbearance

Cilice

Every one tells me that its already gone,

but I am the one still holding on.

A moment, a life, a memory, a dream,

how long will it bleed is yet to be seen.

Knowing is agony,

not knowing is bliss.

What was always on my mind 

is now also under my skin.

Not gentle like a blow,
not scathing like a kiss,
close to my body, digging  into my flesh,
I cringe, but savor the pain and sweat.

It is what it is

without any remorse.

Those who chooses to embrace it 

deserves no more.

Guileless in compassion,

but artless in expression,

tethering with love,

but liberating with blood.

Wrapping itself around me,

and never looking to leave,

constant companion

my cilice.