"Soon enough I am going to want more" he thought. Not need, but want. He was sure he did not any more need things and people, he until not so long ago was was like his life depended on them. And he was right. He has worked hard for getting what he really needed, and then just wanted a little more. And there was no looking back there onwards. It is strange how with time, passion becomes pursuit of a rank, and personality is reduced to just saying the right things all the time. Interests are reduced to checklists and all interactions are turned into routines to leave people thinking about you. All conversations are just a display of the wits. Before you know it the need for approval is replaced by the disdain of validating others and love just becomes notches besides the bed post.
Well he was quite right he was going to want more soon, and just that. For already, he was trying to let go of things, he had wanted once upon a time and was only sticking on with them because he had worked hard to get them in the first place. Things, people, emotions. Amassing had taken priority over appreciating and doing had overshadowed experiencing. And it wasn't all material. Not every thing was about owning, or winning or earning more. It was the addiction to chasing targets consistently that has skewed up the ability to indulge in the present. And that meant he could not look after what ever his life was already filled with.The head would occasionally drop and the shoulders would stoop, not for loosing the loved parts of his life, but at the despair of finding new ideas to chase. And when ever that happened, he would think of the futility of all those notches he had made, but then .. move on.
