i am my own Hero

I have always had this feeling that deep inside me there is a child , who wants to be a hero .
there is this some part of me which always wants to do the glorified thing, overlooking
the logic or the need behind it. and at times i do give in to this lust of being my own hero .
in turn i have to sacrifice my comfort, personal time,productivity or my heart felt pursuits,
because these things do not fit in any where in my normal scheme of life.

Each one of us has a hidden desire to do the inordinate, the undone,the unequal, the
kinds which we can later narrate in our accounts, the kinds which wins admiration of
the small folk,and that has been the truth of the human nature.

Weather its the explorations , expeditions,wars to extend empires to have the most,
the biggest ,the best or dedicated pursuits for an innovation, radical creations ,anything
noble and unique came out of this human spirit of doing the different.

But today as i see it.. the spirit has been mortified and reduced to a petty greed.
We indulge in ,or wish to indulge in those act off heroism , not for the triumph of our
own souls, and not to test our valor. But to seek approvals, to be talked about,to
seek popularity or notoriety alike.At times to find a boost for our ever depleted self
esteems or to just create a false sense of superiority.

I have behaved in this manner at times, not wanting to struggle, or when i wanted to get
away from the muck for a while.Whats worse it that i am able to see through other's
acts aimed at achieving this fake supremacy.

From "dude" to "bro" with office cab and an enfield

when we got down from the cab all that i wanted was to be in my bed, listening to GNR or pearl-jam ..
Had a tough day at the office and the next day was all set to be worse.. so wanted to crash early.
it was already past 10 ,i was seriously sleepy.the other person with me, a co worker n a neighbor dashed to her place saying " look to ur left" .
i did not care to do that n walked on, but for some reason i turned back to take a look at what could she be pointing to .. and amidst the fog settling in i tried to comprehend a figure sitting in front of a dirty smudgy wall. There sat the dude.. n his enfield parked next to him .. i walked over to him n we set off talking. "things people do when in love struck " i thought to my self, as i gathered that he had just been waiting there to catch a glimpse of her get down from the cab n enter her adobe. initially i was unimpressed,so i tried to talk abt the bike instead, the bike was a beauty none the less.
what i noticed was that the dude was honest in being there.though the couple was very much on, these things can give so much wheels to a budding romance.A good conversation, around 20 minutes and a few confessions later ( the kinds u usually expect others to make when they are in an inebriated state) i felt sleepy no more.
though unusual of me but i felt happy and sad at the same time, happy at not being the only one with a small wannabe hero in me,happy at seeing folk around me happy (surprised my self at that too),happy at being out in the cold, happy at being tired.
and sad at still being eluded by romance.
sad to see how people rush-into things, sad to see hw people go thru frenzies of making new relationships.
though happy to have become a "bro" from "dude" for him.